Buano Acubariki

Last night I was able to see Pastor Glorious and his wife Josephine again. I've missed them in a small ways. I missed the sound of their Tanzanian accents as well as how they smell. Josephine admittedly smells like body odor, but it suits her. I couldn't think of her smelling a different way and it makes it all ok. I know in American culture it isn't pleasant at all but just knowing that she is from a, well, lesser society creates an easy atmosphere. Their orphanage has 446 children!!! and only 55 teachers including all of their cooks, janitors and such. let's see, that's about 9 or so children per person? yes.
Oh, I want to visit there so bad now! I want to teach there!! I really really believe that is the vision that God has placed before me. Yes, it'll probably be so so so so scary once I actually am putting action into doing it, but last night when they were showing the pictures, I could imagine myself in the school. I could imagine teaching the Tanzanian children how to read and sing music. It's one of the biggest reasons I'm deciding to do Music Education at UNCG, I want to teach. It's what God told me to do. God said to me one night about a year ago, "Teach my love through your love". For the longest time I could not understand what he was talking about. Then I thought he meant quite literally, TEACH! and I thought, "what?? me, teach?? I've never even dreamed of it! they don't get paid enough, etc." But then I started to think about actually teaching and I realized that people don't teach for the money, they teach because they love to. They love the subject they teach, they love to see the progress in their student's eyes and grades and attitudes.
My second thought last night at the meeting was: Teach in Africa?? Live in Africa? what will you get out of teaching these children who are living in a third(0r second, whatever) world country?? Glorious conveyed to us that it isn't about us. It's about serving God. It's about teaching these children, teaching them how to succeed in life, to be missionaries and evangelists for the word of God so that they can go back home and spread the Love of God to their families and friends. I want to do that! I want to go and help the children for God!!! I want God to employ me as an instrument for his will.
It's all so wonderful and terrifying at the same time! I want to do this so bad, but I'm afraid that I won't be able to, that I'll not keep my promise. But I know that God will give me the strength and I must help myself. I need to keep Tanzania as a goal to reach towards and an object that will help me through 5 years minimum of college.
There's just so much that I want to do before then, but I don't know for sure. I've always dreamed of marrying young, perhaps in college. I can't control if I marry anyone early, though. Heck, I don't even have anyone who loves me right now. I don't mean that in a pitiful way. I don't have a "significant other" currently. I need to stop worrying about what may not even happen in the future and focus on progressing towards my future. Why is it that girls think of so many things at one time?? I have so much going through my mind right now. I can't even begin to put it all on here. So I won't.
I want to obey God. I want to put myself aside as much as possible and focus on executing the commands and wishes he has for me during my life. I really really strongly believe that God is calling me to go to Tanzania. There are so many things I must accomplish in order to get there though. I don't think I have ever asked for someone to pray for me, but please pray that I keep my focus on the will of God and these children. God bless you so much and have a wonderful day/week.